Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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