the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
