I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
someone owes me an orgasm
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's never too late to be topless.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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