how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
