shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
