Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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