How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
