Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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