I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
