Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
