His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
