i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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