I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
