Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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