i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
