I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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