please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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