Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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