If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
