Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize