Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just found puke in my bra..
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
