i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
