Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
