You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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