He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Floor bacon is actually really good
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
