i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
