He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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