I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
