just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
