If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
