It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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