He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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