I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i out mim tonsoeep
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
