yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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