Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
