He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
