You're so nebulous sometimes
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
