Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
