i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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