ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
