So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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