I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
