actually, I'm a sock model
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
