it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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