Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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