is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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