Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
