the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
