ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
