Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
