Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
