I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
