after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Randomize
