I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
