So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
