just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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