I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just found a bag of teeth...
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
