Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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