We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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